Thriving Girl Dad (ft. Brian Young, Author of 'Thriving Girl Dad')

In this episode I welcome Brian Young. Brian has 4 daughters and he’s the author of the book “Thriving Girl Dad: A Dude’s Guide to Raising Daughters.” A major theme of his is not just to survive, but how we can thrive as men, husbands, and fathers. It was a great conversation. Stick around after the interview for my takeaways.

LINKS

Thriving Girl Dad Book

Thank you to Brian for sharing his journey and for being part of Girl Dad Nation.

Check out the links in the description to learn more about the Thriving Girl Dad Book.

I loved how Brian talked about making intentional time, even excusing himself from a business dinner, to connect with his daughters. In what ways are you and I prioritizing our family? How can we model our values to others? That’s what I’ll be reflecting on.

If you've enjoyed this podcast, please let me know by leaving a review. I’ve made it even easier! Just go to my new website http://girldadnation.org and click on the Reviews tab. I hope to feature some more great reviews like this one:

From Jordan on Twitter: “Girl Dad Nation has really helped me grasp how to navigate being a girl dad in terms of trying to connect a young females' emotions with a grown male's emotions. Without a doubt, the biggest thing I've taken from Matthew and his guests is that at the end of the day, the most important thing that my daughters need to know is that they are noticed, they are valued, and they are loved; no strings attached.”

Thank you Jordan! He has been a long time listener of the podcast and I really appreciate it!

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You can also email me at girldadnationpodcast@gmail.com

Thank you for journeying with me.

There is no greater joy than being a dad!

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Girl Dad Nation is made possible by the generous support of our listeners and my wife, Executive Producer of my daughters and this podcast. 

Transcript

**Transcript Auto-Generated**

00:00:00:08 - 00:00:22:04
Matthew Krekeler
Welcome to Girl Dad Nation. In this episode, I welcome Brian Young. Brian has four daughters and is the author of the book 'Thriving Girl Dad: A Dudes Guide to Raising Daughters.' A major theme of his is not just to survive, but how we can thrive as men, husbands and fathers. It was a great conversation. And stick around after the interview for my takeaways.

00:00:22:14 - 00:00:32:08
Matthew Krekeler
Let's get to it.

00:00:35:05 - 00:00:36:14
Matthew Krekeler
Well, Brian, welcome to the show.

00:00:37:23 - 00:00:41:22
Brian Young
Awesome. Thanks, man. I appreciate you having me on. Exciting stuff.

00:00:42:21 - 00:01:04:09
Matthew Krekeler
Yeah. Thank you for being here. Yeah, you reached out to me, which is great. I really appreciate you get in contact with me and thank you so much for sending me your book. I have your book with me. Thriving Girl. Dad, a dudes guy got to raise your daughter. So. Yeah, yeah. I recommend people checking that out. I'll throw a link in the description to where people can find that.

00:01:04:13 - 00:01:17:05
Matthew Krekeler
But yeah, tell me a little bit about yourself. And you have four daughters. Mine are still really young, but your daughters are off in the world. Young adults now and stuff, so. Yeah. Tell me about your family.

00:01:18:13 - 00:01:38:13
Brian Young
Yeah, it's kind of crazy. So I. My daughters range in age now from 25 to 21, which is hard to believe. Each one of them have it launched from the house. There's a two of them live up in New York, too. One of them lives around the corner, my oldest. And then I've got one that lives in West Texas who is married.

00:01:38:13 - 00:02:15:16
Brian Young
And so my wife and I are obviously in a brand new stage of life. My wife is a pediatric nurse, but she actually is the nursing director for Pine Cove Christian Camps, which is mainly in Texas, but even to the East Coast, South Carolina, Georgia, if you want to call that the East Coast. And then I'm I'm just a guy that's always been in the medical device, biotech world, startup companies my entire career and just recently made a transition to where I'm able to really take my business experience and drop it inside of a space where people really have some struggles sometimes, and that is in the space of caring for a dying people.

00:02:16:03 - 00:02:28:15
Brian Young
I helped run a hospice organization which has become my passion, so quite the incredible career, but something completely new that I love for sure.

00:02:28:15 - 00:02:47:12
Matthew Krekeler
Wow. And then, yeah, just given your daughter's age, that means, like, if I'm doing the math right at one time, they were all just, like, really little I growing up just like a couple of years apart. So what was that like where we're kind of in that stage right now? My oldest is four and my youngest is about nine months.

00:02:47:12 - 00:02:52:15
Matthew Krekeler
So yeah, just like we have three girls all under the age of five, so.

00:02:53:01 - 00:03:11:17
Brian Young
Yeah, congrats. I know how you feel. You know what is you've already experienced. I mean, it goes from 1 to 1 or you kind of still got one on one when you've got two. And then all of a sudden you kind of go do some defense right? And I was just counseling a young man who I've known towards and he was probably seven years old.

00:03:11:17 - 00:03:31:09
Brian Young
He was in town and he's like, Hey, you know, we're having our second. And he's like, Man, I really think it's going to get easier. And I go, really, really going to get easier. And I said, Here's the deal, man. You're already in deep sleep deprivation. You're already you're already hustling, you're trying to manage everything that you're doing in life in addition to being the dad.

00:03:31:23 - 00:03:53:21
Brian Young
And I said, You're going to be fine. I said, I found in that season it was beautiful because you were it was like those years and it was just four girls, eight months apart and it was just go time and you know, the feeling you're living, it's just go time. And you you sacrifice your sleep, you take early flights, you do what you need to do to make sure you're home for your children.

00:03:54:08 - 00:04:07:03
Brian Young
And yeah, you're exhausted. But man, I'll tell you, on this side of it, it's worth every ounce of lack of sleep that you get. So we shoot for number four. Can I ask that personal question? Are you ready?

00:04:08:07 - 00:04:27:08
Matthew Krekeler
Yeah, you can ask. We are. We're kind of managing three right now, but, you know, we're kind of open. So whatever God's calling us to. But yeah, we're not, like, actively trying right now. I guess I would say we're kind of they're content with where we're at right now. Yeah. Yeah.

00:04:28:06 - 00:04:42:06
Brian Young
They are. Yeah. Savor what you've got. You're exactly right. So you don't have to have four, obviously. But you know, if you want to win the race, you got it for at least you can have. Not that it's a competition. So. But congratulations on that. Thank you. Absolutely.

00:04:43:10 - 00:04:51:02
Matthew Krekeler
Yeah. Your book, Thriving Girl. Dad, did you always want to be a girl, dad or. Yeah. What was that like when you found out you were going to have daughters?

00:04:52:06 - 00:05:16:14
Brian Young
You know what I, I of course I had. We had names out for a girl and boy right before we even had our oldest, Abby, always. We did not find out in any of the four. And so we didn't, quote, cheat. We didn't find out. And once we had the first daughter, I was like, man, the love as you've experienced for a daughter not experiencing the love of a son, which I'm sure it would be very similar, but there's something very unique about a daughter.

00:05:17:04 - 00:05:34:16
Brian Young
And so once I had my first daughter, Abby, it was like, you know, Lord, whatever you want us to have and you know how it is when you're not finding out, your wife's like, Oh, they're holding their lower, they're hot, you know, whatever. But this kept coming out as girls and it, it just became a passion of mine.

00:05:34:16 - 00:05:51:03
Brian Young
And I think part of the reason that I even wrote the book a couple of years ago was it it is a struggle and it is real to be a dad of one daughter, much less four, and to be the best she can be, not only as a father and as a husband, but all the other things that you're called to do.

00:05:51:03 - 00:05:58:10
Brian Young
And so I really enjoyed being a Google dad, and I'm still enjoying it when there are adult girls, which is super fun. Yeah.

00:06:00:02 - 00:06:06:02
Matthew Krekeler
Is there anything that's surprised you since raising daughters?

00:06:07:04 - 00:06:29:21
Brian Young
You know what? It's empathy. The people. People come to me all the time. You have four daughters. Oh, I'm so sorry. You have a daughter. Oh, I'm so sorry. It's got to be an emotional tug of war. And I'm like, there is nothing bad about having daughters. I mean, it's surprising to answer your question. Like people respond to like having girls, multiple girls, specifically.

00:06:29:21 - 00:06:52:22
Brian Young
But there was my wife was really good about kind of let me know like, hey look emotions high on their thing. Be careful giving me guidelines as to how to respond to certain issues and things like that. So she was good kind of prepping me ahead of time. A lot of that prepping was actually not prepping. It was telling me what I was doing incorrectly, right, because I had no reference point as to how to raise a daughter.

00:06:52:22 - 00:07:04:00
Brian Young
So we say my oldest daughter was kind of my guinea pig, like, I'm going to try my best to get this right when I mess up and not that I did mess up even on the fourth one, but I feel like I got better along the way kind of thing.

00:07:05:08 - 00:07:25:05
Matthew Krekeler
Okay, that's great. Yeah, well, you obviously put a lot of thought into it. You wrote your book and yeah, I'm thing that I love about your book is that you include just the testimonies from your daughters too. So at the end of each chapter, you have a little bit where each of your daughters writes a literally from a little reflection.

00:07:26:05 - 00:07:26:13
Brian Young
Yeah.

00:07:26:14 - 00:07:48:06
Matthew Krekeler
Just based on their experience. So I'd like to just start to, if I may just read something your daughter, Maddie, just at the end of the first chapter, she says, Let me warn you, you're in for a crazy ride, not only throughout this book, but all through life with your daughters. My dad was lucky enough to be blessed with four girls.

00:07:48:11 - 00:08:08:01
Matthew Krekeler
I don't know where you stand on the daughter count, but no matter the number, your daughters will challenge you in ways unimaginable. And then she goes on. We girls have hearts that yearn for true love, care and relationships. We want someone to be there for us and protect us. No matter what happens. The best person for that job is our dad.

00:08:09:01 - 00:08:20:11
Matthew Krekeler
And I just think it's so sweet that each one of them takes the time to reflect on that relationship that they had with their dad and just how meaningful that was. So yeah.

00:08:20:16 - 00:08:42:14
Brian Young
Well well, I listen I of I appreciate that into that was by design first of all so people know like my daughters chose the chapters the book was written from their eyes. Like I said, give me the top 1015 things, right? So that was number one because I wanted to write something that meant something to the daughters that the dads are going to be reading the book.

00:08:43:03 - 00:09:14:15
Brian Young
And number two, I wanted that the dads to truly understand the value and the importance of the titles in the chapters that they chose. And so that that birthed the idea of like, Hey, girls, how about you guys give feedback to every single chapter? And I will tell you, with this book being out just over two years, that's probably one of the biggest things that people come to me and say, Wow, I really appreciate the feedback from her daughters because it did help the father understand how important topic is.

00:09:14:15 - 00:09:37:09
Brian Young
But also just to hear the voice of my daughters write that experience for me as you read through their commentary, every chapter, their viewpoints, different, you know, you're talking a gap of, you know, right now of 25 to 21. So you've got 4 to 4 and a half years gap. So their perspective of me is very different. There's some consistencies, but there's still some differences.

00:09:37:09 - 00:09:51:16
Brian Young
So I appreciate you you pointing that out because it's fun for me even now to even hear someone read those words because, you know, my Maddie is now, you know, 24 years old. She's a nurse taking care of oncology patients. It's kind of crazy to think about, right?

00:09:52:07 - 00:10:03:14
Matthew Krekeler
Yeah. So and then from your perspective, is there like an overall theme to your book that would summarize each of the chapters?

00:10:03:14 - 00:10:24:02
Brian Young
Yeah. So listen, by by the title Thriving is something that it's even tattooed on my arm. I've got a tattoo on here from a group called Switchfoot, and I didn't I got permission somewhat by the guys, but it says I want to thrive, not survive. And that's kind of been my theme of my life. Like, I have been around the world on missions.

00:10:24:02 - 00:10:58:10
Brian Young
I was a four time Iron Man. I've climbed some of the highest peaks in the US like this, just kind of a heartbeat of like thriving. But what I started noticing, men were making choices to thrive in other areas other than being a father of a daughter. And I thought if I could help dads be inspired to understand that you can thrive in business with your spouse within any organization you're passionate about to volunteer and thrive as a dad, I thought, Man, if I could convey just that, then that's what I want them to do too.

00:10:58:10 - 00:11:14:19
Brian Young
And the reason beyond the way we chose the chapters and the way the girls speak in the chapters, you know, the length of the book was thoughtful. Like, I want it to be short, I want it to be to the point. I want to be action oriented. I didn't want the dad to be handed a book mainly by their spouse.

00:11:14:19 - 00:11:37:21
Brian Young
Right. Or wives are smarter than we are when it comes to daughters. And I did want them receive this book and think I'm being chastised or you're you're telling me how bad I am. I truly wanted it to be a guide. And in that, as the dad learns to thrive as a father, but more probably even more so, they describe as a man that in turn causes their daughters to thrive in life.

00:11:37:21 - 00:12:01:01
Brian Young
And, you know, dads don't don't be fooled. I wrote this book for you, but it's really because I want the world to receive daughters that are thriving. And that's going to take you, dad, to do your job. And so I wanted to make it a simple and easy guide to say, Hey, they're five and I want to talk about discipline or they're 16 and I want to talk about discipline, right?

00:12:01:01 - 00:12:18:00
Brian Young
And so and so it's this thematic book that are pillars that can be used all across the Raising Your Daughters with the intent of both you and her thriving in life. And that's that was that's my theme, you know. Do you can do it? Yeah, right.

00:12:19:03 - 00:12:42:03
Matthew Krekeler
Yeah. I think that's great. And I love the idea of thriving, not just surviving like you talked about. And yeah, like encouraging too. Like, as my daughters are young and like the way that I see the world for them is just like so many possibilities. They talk about being like mermaids and astronauts and like all of these different things, they have no they have no limits.

00:12:42:20 - 00:13:21:09
Matthew Krekeler
Yeah, and it's great. And I, I don't want to say just like those kinds of firm boundaries on like what they can achieve. But right now they're just in that explore phase where everything in the world is wonderful. And yeah, they have big imaginations. And I think as dads, we have just a really great privilege to be able to foster that and support them and help them to thrive, whether it's preschool and and just making friends or like as they enter the career world and all that kind of stuff for family life, all these different things.

00:13:21:09 - 00:13:42:13
Brian Young
So yeah, yeah, I agree. And one of the formulas that I've used on my daughters and they can repeat it to you if we call them right now kind of thing is you've got to figure out as a daughter, as a young lady, and this is for us as men, what are you truly passionate about? Right. But but but prior to that, I'm starting off a little ahead in the formula, but you need to feel what your giftedness are.

00:13:42:13 - 00:14:04:22
Brian Young
What gifts has God given you that are just natural? It's not bragging as to what you can do. It's just it just comes natural. Like, you know what? This is the things I can do. You couple that with passion, which means if you put a heart monitor on your wrist and I say, Hey, tell me what you're passionate about, literally, I'll watch your heart rate go up because it's that passion is that heartbeat of who you are, and that becomes your purpose.

00:14:05:10 - 00:14:23:06
Brian Young
And I'll tell you a story of my daughter who was biomedical engineering at Texas A&M University. Right. And she crushed it. Her first year. She got over a 4.0, but she came to me. She goes, Dad, I don't feel like this is where I'm supposed to be. And in old school, even my own father would say, Well, hold on.

00:14:23:06 - 00:14:42:05
Brian Young
You know, you started in biomedical engineering. You're going to finish about medical engineering. You're not going to deviate. You're going to get a 4 to 5 year degree. But unlike my father and probably many others out there, maybe even moms, I said, okay, then let's go to the formula. She was like, I know what are my gifts? And giftedness was my passion because my purpose, well, guess what?

00:14:42:11 - 00:15:08:03
Brian Young
She's about to finish her bachelor's degree as a chef at the Culinary Institute of America, which is the top culinary school in the world. Who would have thunk? An engineering degree our first year would turn into a culinary chef? It doesn't make sense in our world. Right. But in that, though, as a father, even at her, your daughter's young ages, I say that you need to be very open handed about your daughter.

00:15:08:12 - 00:15:28:08
Brian Young
Right. Because you can put all kinds of expectations as to what their gifts and passions and purpose are. But it's really not you this to determine that now when they're five. Yeah. Put some guardrails up. No, we're not going to jump off the buildings. We remain. But as they grow and you see these things in them, you affirm those things in them and then you you let them go.

00:15:28:08 - 00:15:48:11
Brian Young
In the instance of this daughter, I mean, we were living around the corner from Texas A&M University. I mean, she was around. I got to see her much like with a lot of my daughters. Well, when I said those things like you ought to apply to the CIA, what I was doing is saying, you're going to go move to New York and be, you know, 26 hours away from me.

00:15:49:04 - 00:16:08:00
Brian Young
And that's scary as a father. But now that she's now landed her first job as a chef and even prior to graduation, I'm like, man, I'm so grateful that I was willing to just go like this, because if I close my hands, go, no, you get your degree. Well, I'm kind of standing in the way of what guys designed her to be.

00:16:08:11 - 00:16:28:19
Brian Young
I was kind of foolish, to be honest. And so at whatever age, to your point, it's fun to watch them dream. But then as you start seeing those gifts and talents and passions bubble up in them, man, that's her directing their education, directing their sports, directing maybe music they're inclined to go be a part of. And we just have to get out of the way, inspire them.

00:16:29:20 - 00:16:39:18
Brian Young
Just like in the book. I mean, chapter three, get to get to know them and get to know them. Start the first breath they take. I'm still getting to know my daughters at the ages that they are.

00:16:40:22 - 00:16:41:05
Matthew Krekeler
Yeah.

00:16:42:00 - 00:16:43:02
Brian Young
Makes it a lot of fun.

00:16:43:06 - 00:16:51:08
Matthew Krekeler
You must be so proud as a dad to. To see them, like, go live their dreams and still have that close relationship with them.

00:16:52:09 - 00:16:52:22
Brian Young
Yeah.

00:16:52:22 - 00:17:14:20
Matthew Krekeler
Now, like 20 plus years later and stuff. And one thing to yeah, I must mention this because it's all over your book, but you, you talk a lot about your spiritual life and the way that faith factors into your own life personally and the way that you raise your daughters by that. Yeah. Could you just speak to that a little bit?

00:17:16:10 - 00:17:41:06
Brian Young
Yeah, absolutely. You know, I did grow up in the church, accept the Lord as my savior. You know, I was 12, 13 years old. And so growing in the church, it was more of a religion versus a relationship kind of thing. And it took me till I was literally just before I turned 30, I had four daughters and I decided, man, I really want to step up my game.

00:17:41:06 - 00:17:58:20
Brian Young
And now I've got to be the example to my daughters that I've felt to be true. And so now you've got, you know, eight sets of eyes looking at you. And in the midst of that, I had a guy named Robert Turner who was mentoring me, and we were the same age, but he was just further down the path of his walk and faith than I was.

00:17:59:08 - 00:18:22:12
Brian Young
And so I rededicated my life at the age of 30 before my daughters and, you know, a couple thousand people at our church kind of thing. And it was really that put the the, you know, the stick in the sand, the flag in the dirt kind of thing. Like this is what I'm going to represent it and the way I conduct myself in everything that I do, understanding that perfection is nothing I can obtain, but I could surely try to do so.

00:18:22:22 - 00:18:40:13
Brian Young
And so with that, you know, I introduce my daughters to that big moment in my life as to what faith looks like. But then I had to live it out in a way. I responded to them and and did get it wrong at times, but apologize in the midst of it. But then we raised the girls in the church.

00:18:40:13 - 00:19:03:17
Brian Young
But understanding that it's not just my wife and I. There is other people that are involved. And end of the day, I can't just give them their faith. I can introduce them to it, I can put places they can be in church or youth group or mission trips around the world that we did or whatever. But the end of the day, it's something that they must adopt on their own.

00:19:03:17 - 00:19:32:23
Brian Young
And as a parent, like if you have, whether it be the Christian faith or whatever, you're hopeful that your child will adopt exactly what you and your spouse believe. But end of the day, they they have the choice to choose, just as they have the choice to choose, you know, that I'm going to live somewhere else in the world or am I take this type of vocation, even though in my belief that that your faith is the most important and being a Christian is at the center point of it, it's it's what's again, it's open ended.

00:19:33:12 - 00:19:54:18
Brian Young
They're really not mine. They're not my daughters. They're created by the creator. So I just get the opportunity to kind of walk beside them and see what God's going to do with them kind of thing. So I told a lot about how I was going to write this book because I want it to be where and I even give men that read the Chapter one about building your foundation.

00:19:55:09 - 00:20:19:07
Brian Young
I quote, give them I don't give them an out, but what I do give them is the understanding that this is what I believe. I would hope that you would believe it, but you don't have to believe it to be a thriving girl that I have found through being in the world, teaching the world, traveling around the world on mission, making it my center point that gave me the ability to be a great father and thrive.

00:20:20:02 - 00:20:49:11
Brian Young
But I want men to understand and that you don't have to adopt my belief to be a thriving girl, dad. But. But I would have been foolish as to being such a belief of mine not to introduce dads to it. I'll be honest, if everybody goes read my reviews of my book, you know, I've had a couple of people throw some pretty mighty large stones at me because I felt like I was I didn't disclose on the front cover that, hey, their faith is going to be discussed.

00:20:49:23 - 00:21:12:01
Brian Young
And my wife didn't like that much. Like they're not saying nice things about you. Well, my personality is well, first of all, you know, it doesn't bother me because guess what? They read the whole book. So regardless if they were banging on me for not being open about my faith, I think chapter one I'm pretty open about what I believe and my family believes.

00:21:12:16 - 00:21:42:23
Brian Young
But I was like, You know what? I am grateful that you read it, that you're critiquing me. And the fact that you don't believe the way I believe. And you know what that is okay? Because my focus is if I want you be a thriving girl, that that's my focus. And you can accept my belief or not. So I appreciate you seeing that theme that was with design as well, but also giving them that freedom to say, you know what, just like with your children, you even as an adult, as a as a man, it's your choice, too.

00:21:44:09 - 00:21:50:09
Brian Young
But I'm called to share and that's what I did. So appreciate you bringing that up. At least having a conversation about it.

00:21:51:03 - 00:22:06:19
Matthew Krekeler
Yeah. Yeah. There may be some that may criticize or at least question. Like what? What about parents that impose religion on their kids? Does that seem like a bad thing? Yeah. How would you respond to that?

00:22:07:06 - 00:22:25:13
Brian Young
Yeah. Yeah, I do. I think here's the deal. My wife grew up much like a lot of people. If you grew up in the South, you went to a Southern Baptist church, okay. And you were there on Wednesday. You were there on Sunday mornings. You were there on Sunday nights. And it became what I would call religion. Right.

00:22:25:13 - 00:22:45:17
Brian Young
You just you go do things because you just go do things right there. No purpose. There is purpose. But it's really like we're going to do this. And parents can become very dogmatic in the fact that, well, this is what we believe, so this is what you're going to believe and because of that you're going to do ABCD and E well, no one wants to do anything when they're coerced into it.

00:22:45:17 - 00:23:03:22
Brian Young
In end of the day, the adoption of your faith is not something that's forced upon you. It's something that you accept. Right? And so would I be like, we do go to church on Sunday mornings or we end up going to church on Saturday nights and would my girls give me pushback and Dad, I'm tired or whatever? Of course they would.

00:23:04:07 - 00:23:27:18
Brian Young
But it's my responsibility to expose them to the church and to the faith. But it's not a matter of, well, you know, you have to. You have to, because that's a heart condition. And so for parents that are forcing it upon them, absolutely not. You as a parent, if I walked up to you as an adult and forced you, you've got to believe this.

00:23:27:18 - 00:23:44:23
Brian Young
I'm not going to accept it. They're not going to accept it, rather. But I think it's the same for your children. And I think that's and we can get into this later, maybe even from a discipline perspective, you know, or being willing to say, I'm sorry, you just introduce them to it, right? Nobody wants to be forced at five or 25.

00:23:45:14 - 00:23:48:01
Brian Young
So not a good formula.

00:23:48:14 - 00:24:28:02
Matthew Krekeler
Yeah, you know. Yeah, sure. Yeah. Well, I've spoken about this openly on the podcast. The podcast itself, Girl Nation is not like specifically religious or politically affiliated, but just as a human like I carry my own beliefs and I share what we share with our kids. So so we raise our children in a Catholic home. My wife and I are both Catholic and I shared before just like little ways that that we invite them into that and just sharing that they are loved by God and they have a Savior in Jesus who loves them and died for them.

00:24:28:15 - 00:24:52:21
Matthew Krekeler
And, and then just ways to like that, we all pray together like either at the dinner table or before bed, thanking God for the blessings that we have and different things. So those are ways that my family with my daughters, like we try to share those those beliefs and that invitation to being able to connect with God in those ways.

00:24:52:21 - 00:24:59:12
Matthew Krekeler
But yeah, what advice would you give to dads to foster that relationship?

00:25:00:12 - 00:25:21:11
Brian Young
Okay. Well, I'll tell you, you know, early on, you know, we my wife and I, even with our first daughter, we would have like a a story Bible, right. And every night we would read out of it and we would kneel by her bed and we pray with her. And, you know, for a while there, it would be, you know, she might not understand even a children's Bible like what it really means.

00:25:21:11 - 00:25:40:18
Brian Young
And you have to be understanding and also understanding, like why you're talking to them, reading to them. They might not be even paying attention to you. And I think where it goes sideways is when you get frustrated like, no, Abby, my oldest, you need to listen once again. Now, all of a sudden you're kind of like dictating to them kind of thing.

00:25:41:06 - 00:26:00:20
Brian Young
So that was the first exposure point. The prayer time was like, much like you should do as a dad anyway. Is it? I would model it like we would. I would kneel on the bedside with her and I would say, well, Daddy is going to say a prayer. I would say a very, very simple prayer. And then it would turn into will make you want to repeat some of the things that dad saying that she repeated.

00:26:01:06 - 00:26:26:18
Brian Young
And the next thing you know, she was like, Dad, I want to pray. And it would be some, you know, just random words maybe. But all of a sudden it's like, boom, I just I, you know, Lord, help that my dog is stays healthy or whatever, right? Yeah. And so it's that it's that modeling is that introduction. It's allowing them to kind of put the proverbial training wheels on where they start, kind of mimicking and on their own.

00:26:26:18 - 00:26:43:19
Brian Young
And the next thing you know, it just kind of becomes their own little habit. Like, you know, I've I've had moments where as I got more of my girls in the course, each one of them has a different need us to an understanding of faith. But like, I would get exhausted, come home late, got home from a late flight being travel all week.

00:26:43:19 - 00:27:06:23
Brian Young
And I was like, Hey, girls. And I can, I can unite all four of them and hear this. Dad. Yeah, well, can we pray like, oh, my goodness. But all of a sudden your own daughters reminding you, like, hey, I know you're exhausted. She's not saying that, but that's what I am. And I'm thinking, oh, my goodness. And so that's the beauty of their like now all of a sudden they're holding their you accountable.

00:27:07:22 - 00:27:28:16
Brian Young
And fast forward to now being adults like we have a group message as most families do, and like my girls will drop Christian will be Christian rap or Christian rock or Christian worship or a verse or and so all of a sudden, like this, this ecosystem of family, which now includes a young man, which is our son in Law Center, we're all encouraging each other in the faith.

00:27:28:16 - 00:27:50:22
Brian Young
But it all started way back when Lilly was a youngster. And then and as it grew, it would be all four of them around, you know, around the bed. We'd all be gathered up in the den or the bedroom kind of thing. So it just but a lot of it's just modeling, you know, it's modeling to your child, introducing them to these different things, which is much like what you and your bride are doing, which is fantastic.

00:27:50:22 - 00:27:57:05
Brian Young
You know, this model, it introduced him to it. So I'm good for you all. That's incredible.

00:27:58:02 - 00:28:21:04
Matthew Krekeler
And I love to. And there's a part in the book, too, where you mentioned just the importance of that prayer before bed. And even when you're traveling, you're working, you've have all these other obligations. There is a story where you were at like a work dinner and you're like in a restaurant and you're like, Oh man, it's bedtime at home, so I need to call my girls.

00:28:21:15 - 00:28:31:15
Matthew Krekeler
I just think that that was such a sweet story, just making that intentional time to keep that tradition and, and the value that that had for your girls and also for you.

00:28:33:02 - 00:28:54:03
Brian Young
Well, I appreciate that. And as you speak, those words, like I can remember that dinner. I can remember where I was. I remember who was at the table. And it is you're you're younger in business specifically, right. You feel an obligation to you're at the dinner. You're at business like business. And business. The family don't mix like I'm focused on this dinner and closing the deal because I'm in sales.

00:28:54:15 - 00:29:16:11
Brian Young
And at some point you decide, you know what, I'm just going to make the right choice. And what's really beautiful in the fact that people that worked with me and for me, they knew what I stood for, which first of all, put accountability in my life, whether they were walking with the Lord or not, to look at me and go, Hey, dude, is that really how you say you are?

00:29:16:16 - 00:29:38:08
Brian Young
So that's accountability. But then there was also a little bit of a giving men permission or women that might be at a business function, permission to say, Hey, he got up and walked away from the table to go take a call or make that call. But so my hope was not have it one. It was to model what I tell my daughters and my wife.

00:29:38:08 - 00:29:58:12
Brian Young
I'm going to do two totally inspiring, give permission to another man or a woman, a mom or a dad to do the same. And that also could open up dialog as to or tell me about that tradition and what did you walk away to go do? And I think I relate this in the book, like when I got up to leave because I didn't think I was at the end of the table where I could easily get out.

00:29:58:22 - 00:30:13:23
Brian Young
Like as I'm getting up, my colleagues who knew me, who lived in the trenches with me daily go, Oh yeah, no surprise, man. Like he gets up and does this at all of our dinners, because if we're at dinner, I don't care who you are, he's going to dismiss himself and go pray with his daughters and come back.

00:30:14:15 - 00:30:41:12
Brian Young
Well, that was a discussion. And so but that's also what I want to give and encourage dads, especially if they're men of faith. Right. To to not separate what you believe and how you act or your obligation as a father to your daughters don't separate it from work. It's a part of who you are, right. And I have this crazy thought process in my head, which is maybe a little bit of arrogance.

00:30:41:12 - 00:31:04:09
Brian Young
But if I walked away from that table or I didn't take that call for whatever reason, and that cost me my job, it's all going to be okay because the end of the day, my daughters are interested in who I work for, how much money I made, how much I traveled, all the plaques on the wall. They want to know that when Dad was out of town, even when he was out of town, he paused.

00:31:04:19 - 00:31:27:02
Brian Young
He called me. He made me important. And that's that is what the most important thing is. Right. And that's part of the message of this book. Overarching is, like I said earlier, you can do that. You can be successful in business, but also be very successful at home with your daughters as well. Yeah. So, guys, I'm giving you permission.

00:31:28:10 - 00:32:04:01
Matthew Krekeler
Yeah. I love the way that you prioritize that. So whether it's like a specific prayer time or even just like checking in, whether it's your daughters or your wife, but setting aside that time to say like, yeah, I want to check in, I want to like say goodnight, you know, and just because we have all sorts of obligations, you know, we have work and and other things by it, but family is so important and to make sure that they know that so that like as they're growing up, you know, it's, it's hard.

00:32:04:01 - 00:32:30:18
Matthew Krekeler
There's fathers that are traveling a lot. You know, I'm pretty blessed that I have a relatively regular kind of job, like on Monday through Friday kind of deal. And so I'm able to be home most nights. But but I know there's all sorts of different situations out there and, and it's about making the best of your specific situation and making that intentional time so well.

00:32:30:18 - 00:32:52:07
Brian Young
And you know, what's interesting is, you know, people obviously people bash on technology like know technology exposes your children to things they don't need to see, which I completely agree. But also technology also allows you to extend yourself as a father. And I don't mean that as a crutch, meaning, well, you just don't spend time with your daughters physically, just send them a bunch of videos and they're going to be fine.

00:32:52:07 - 00:33:17:19
Brian Young
No. To your point, you understand? Okay, I've made a choice. My wife and I have agreed that I've taken on a job that includes travel. Okay, so then how are we going to block off time physically? Like you're going to take the you know, you're going to take the first flight out in the morning and you're going to take the last you know, you're going to be home for these games and you're going to morph your schedule physically around being around it, but also using the technology.

00:33:17:19 - 00:33:38:06
Brian Young
I remember dropping a video on social media last year like I was literally going from plane to transport, going to the next terminal. And I just I thought, hold on. There's a lot of guys that experience this every day. And so I just quickly go understand you. This is what I'm doing. I'm going from terminal to terminal between flights.

00:33:38:13 - 00:34:06:12
Brian Young
Haven't seen my family, but I wanted them to understand like, you can make this real. You can find the ability to drop a video, do a quick face time. There's ways to fit into your schedule where your daughters still feel like, Wow, Dad, Dad, dad is in California. But that's still thinking about me. And part of your journey as a dad is to make sure your daughters feel cared for and secure.

00:34:06:22 - 00:34:31:07
Brian Young
A lot of times when Daddy's gone, that security can leave them as well as physically there to listen to them their needs. But when you're using technology, they're like, Oh, that's right here, you know? But but I have to stress, it's not a substitute. You know, Saturday on the golf course, I'm not going to see my daughters. I'm just going to face time it in no don't face time it it but when you have to absolutely me and use the technology.

00:34:32:02 - 00:35:00:12
Matthew Krekeler
Yeah because I love to hear how you say that as giving permission to to other people and I love the kind of cultural shift about that. There's more and more people like being able to advocate for like work from home conditions or Yeah, kind of things and I think a lot of times like the responsibility is put on the mom to get the kids to school or to doctor's appointments, all that kind of stuff.

00:35:00:12 - 00:35:01:12
Matthew Krekeler
And I think.

00:35:01:22 - 00:35:02:04
Brian Young
Yeah.

00:35:02:16 - 00:35:29:16
Matthew Krekeler
As dads, when we take opportunity to say like, look, this Monday is my daughter's first day of school and I to take her to school. And so I'm going to be coming in a little late. And that gives permission, especially like men that are blessed to be in higher management positions, to lead by example, and that when you see your boss, that's like, you know, like let's push that meeting back to the afternoon because I'm taking my daughter to school.

00:35:29:16 - 00:35:44:09
Matthew Krekeler
Like, yeah, that kind of stuff is really high and it creates a cultural shift where people are putting value on family, on their kids and, and then creating space for other people to have that understanding.

00:35:45:14 - 00:36:05:00
Brian Young
Yeah, yeah, yeah. And that's and I love that in fact that, you know, you, you have the proverbial have your cake and eat it too. You can be an incredible father and you can also be an incredible employee. And I think it's incumbent upon some when, let's say at my age, because I am in a leadership role, that I mimic that.

00:36:05:00 - 00:36:34:04
Brian Young
Right. And I set boundaries. And part of my story of setting boundaries is like, you know, I have PTSD from running a trauma organization for the orthopedic company. Well, man, I got wound around the spoke of not always setting good boundaries. And so now, I mean, I even I even challenged my colleagues around the leadership table like, look, you've got to set boundaries because if you set boundaries, you're giving permission to your to the people that report to us in their organization to set their own boundaries.

00:36:34:16 - 00:36:54:07
Brian Young
And so, I mean, just like today, I mean, I'm at work this I'm doing my thing. And I just told the crew, hey, you know what? I'm going to bounce because I've got a real important conversation about something that is also also very important to me. And what it tells them is you're important. This hospice organization and the patients we be touch is extremely important.

00:36:54:20 - 00:37:10:15
Brian Young
But you know what? Talking to my new friend on a podcast about raising daughters is also something that's very important. So with that, other people go, Well, you know what, I am going to go have that cup of coffee with a friend that I know get to see, but once a year, because they're only in town once a year kind of thing.

00:37:11:00 - 00:37:36:12
Brian Young
And I also give dads permission. The fact if you're an employer that doesn't allow you to do that, maybe you should find another employer, right? Because if you honor your your daughter's with your life, God's going to honor you in your job. And I've lost jobs because of my willingness to stand for what I believe, multiple jobs. And that's okay.

00:37:36:12 - 00:38:03:14
Brian Young
So so, dads, we're not telling you to want to tell your watch. You know what? I'm going to go I'm not going to go to work this week. But but I like what you said. Yeah. That cultural shift and I think COVID enhanced that culture shift to go. You know what, employees can be really productive and they can work from home, which allows that dad to go, wow, I can carve out 30 minutes every day and middle my workday to go hang with my daughter but beautiful.

00:38:05:00 - 00:38:26:00
Matthew Krekeler
Yeah. And employee retention and everything too. When you build morale and yeah, people are coming into work rejuvenated because they just had a meaningful drive to school with their daughter and or they're excited to leave work because they're going to see them for a playdate after school or whatever, like all those different things. I think it's great like.

00:38:26:01 - 00:38:46:00
Brian Young
Yeah, and we had gotten it, we've gotten it wrong. I think in the past. We think like, well, if I let that person do that with their daughter or they're not being productive. And to your point, it's the balance of the human life that doesn't always have to be about work, because percentage wise we spend more time at work than we do most things.

00:38:46:00 - 00:39:05:07
Brian Young
But what people must understand is when you have that balance and the thing I talk a lot about in my company about, you know, filling people up, put them in a position where they feel conflict filled that well. If you feel filled up because you get to take your daughter to school or leave early to go see your program, you're a better employee for me and I want you to be.

00:39:05:07 - 00:39:18:00
Brian Young
And what I have to do also as a leader is protect the people from themselves and go, you know, you're going to leave and you're going to go do this. And it's an order. And then they yeah, they build those same things into their own life, which is super hard.

00:39:18:16 - 00:39:38:05
Matthew Krekeler
And it goes by so fast to like people are in their careers like, you know, several decades, possibly. But, you know, you only have so now so many years with your daughters when they're when they're young and they're excited to go on trips with you and, like, spend time with you on weekends before they're off with their friends or pursuing other things.

00:39:38:05 - 00:39:56:18
Brian Young
So, yeah, well, and here's the deal. When they're young and you make that time to be close to them and be involved in their lives and get to know them and do their activities, or they do some of your activities. As they get older, you avoid what most people say, like all the teen years, oh, my God, it's so hard.

00:39:57:10 - 00:40:25:22
Brian Young
No, they're not. They're not. I mean, there's moments maybe, but I mean, when your daughters know you at a young age, they trust you at a young age. They know that you prioritize who they are at a young age. Well, when they get older and you continue to build that foundation, I mean, that's why I've said great relation with my daughters as adults is because I just I made it a priority, you know, and then they don't and that's why they, they might live in different parts of the country right now.

00:40:26:11 - 00:40:41:17
Brian Young
But we're still we talk daily and text daily and send videos. And, you know, we celebrate each other's wins and we we mourn each other's losses, you know, as adults, even. So, that's that's awesome. So we should be doing. Yeah.

00:40:41:21 - 00:40:53:09
Matthew Krekeler
Well, Brian, I really appreciate your time today. I want to be respectful of your time. I do have a couple more questions, but tell me like when you're pleased to be out of here.

00:40:53:09 - 00:40:54:11
Brian Young
I'm good. I'm good.

00:40:54:11 - 00:41:02:18
Matthew Krekeler
Now. Okay. So what was the hardest chapter to write in your book?

00:41:02:18 - 00:41:24:16
Brian Young
The hardest chapter to write? Probably the first one, because I didn't know how to write it. I mean, honestly, when I got approached by a dear friend of mine, Mark McCartney, to write this book, after standing on a stage and just pouring out everything I knew about raising daughters, he asked me to write the book and I told him he was crazy.

00:41:24:16 - 00:41:48:04
Brian Young
Like, I'm a talker. I'm not going to write a book. Don't expect it ever. And it was really when I finally decided, okay, this is what what I should be doing. Then it was really just sitting down and going, okay, we're I just got to start writing. And once I started writing, then I didn't put boundaries as the number of words per day.

00:41:49:07 - 00:42:09:13
Brian Young
I just I would write when it came to me literally because I knew the chapters in my head. So I thought about that topic. I would just start, I would just start writing, to be honest, if I had to pick maybe a the hardest chapter to write, I honestly don't know if any of them were really that hard.

00:42:10:01 - 00:42:28:13
Brian Young
Right. I think in the process of writing is you kind of get towards the end and you're thinking, Man, I feel like I've really been given some great words the first few chapters, man, can I do this again? Right. But it really was, I don't think so much the content. It was just can I continue to duplicate the theme of the book kind of thing?

00:42:29:01 - 00:42:33:02
Brian Young
Yeah.

00:42:33:02 - 00:43:03:13
Matthew Krekeler
Yeah. And you talk about this in the book, I don't think you have a specific chapter on dating, but now that your daughters are older. Yeah, my daughters are a long ways from that right now, but. Yeah, yeah, but I know that. Yeah, Dad's listening to the podcast or in all different stages of their dad journey. So just as a dad has daughters now going through that and one.

00:43:03:13 - 00:43:10:21
Matthew Krekeler
And you have one that's married. Yes. What advice do you have for dads in the dating phase?

00:43:12:06 - 00:43:30:02
Brian Young
Well, so I will tell you this in in the purity chapters where I dove into the dating part a little bit and some people would say that my wife and I are a little bit extreme. But I think as we have gotten older and we've given advice to younger parents, they're kind of thinking we're not as extreme as they thought we were.

00:43:30:12 - 00:43:47:22
Brian Young
And this is kind of our stance. Number one, we did not allow our girls to date when they were in high school. So that was number one. We would have discussions around, hey, is there so many of the interest in and if you do so, I mean, let's talk about it. And I mean, they can be a really good friend, right?

00:43:48:06 - 00:44:14:04
Brian Young
Because our stance on dating is the fact that you date for marriage. And when I see that sometimes people like, oh, well, a guy takes your daughter at one time and they're going to marry her. Absolutely not. I mean, just recently, there was a young man that was wanting to pursue my daughter. And part of the rules is, if you want to pursue my daughter, you're going to have a conversation with me and you're going we're going to have an hour plus conversation about your intent.

00:44:14:18 - 00:44:34:22
Brian Young
And your intent needs to be pursuit. And pursuit means is this is not a game we're not playing around. There's going to be boundaries physically. There should be boundaries spiritually. I mean, I want them to understand and these things are things my daughters can recite because they they bought into the things that my wife and I, we instilled in them.

00:44:34:22 - 00:44:57:10
Brian Young
And we're young. Part of them be belief in it is they would watch friends of theirs that were indeed relationships and because it was just dating relationships, most of which in that let's be honest, dating dating always ends unless you get married, right? So you just date stop, next one, date stop. And then you finally found the one that God's giving you to marry.

00:44:57:10 - 00:45:17:10
Brian Young
And so but I sit down with these young men and look at what's your intent? I want you to hear from you what you see in my daughter that I want you to be around her and date her kind of thing, but also ask my daughter the same question. Like what? What is an interest in this young man that you're wanting to spend time with?

00:45:17:10 - 00:45:40:21
Brian Young
And then I tell the young man, Look, as long as you have intent and you're leading towards something greater, which ultimately would be marriage, my daughter, nor I or my wife have a problem with it. But I want you to understand there's expectations, right? And and so and I tell them, look, they haven't really dated. So you understand the role that you play.

00:45:41:06 - 00:46:00:17
Brian Young
And it seems to be received very well. And, you know, the one man that I'm referring to, like he got to a point where he decided, man, I'm not really dating with intention. Like I don't have a path forward that would ever lead to marriage. And he stopped. He said, I just don't think we should be dating anymore.

00:46:01:04 - 00:46:30:01
Brian Young
Which of course, was hurtful to my daughter in the moment. But he did what we asked him to do. And so that obviously is talking about a daughter that's already in her twenties. But to back it up to some more and more applicable to you, I would say is, look, we just don't allow for dating because a part of that is it may create scars, it creates disappointment, it puts it puts a put something on to someone else to create your value.

00:46:30:07 - 00:46:54:21
Brian Young
Our daughter's already going to struggle with who gives them value, right? As a as a believer, I believe only God gives you value, period. End of story. Right? But when you start putting your value into another person, then all of a sudden, especially when you're young, you're confused as it is when you're young, never mind adding the mix of these feelings you have towards another person who happens to be a dude.

00:46:54:21 - 00:47:19:01
Brian Young
It's just hard. And so we held fast or boundaries. Our daughters always had great dude friends. I mean, we our house door, our door was always open and we'd have great pool parties and people over we girls and guys and and things like that. And when I would have to make sure that I did is because I spoke a lot in youth ministry was I'd be kind of harsh to the guys like, you know, don't you dare come near my daughter just messing around.

00:47:19:15 - 00:47:45:00
Brian Young
But it was kind of this known like, oh, you don't want to date the young daughters. Mr. Yard know he's got this story, you know. But part of that, yeah. Was to be a typical father, to scare the bejesus out of the guys, but just to just to also give even young men permission that you don't have to date as a young lady or a young man to to fulfill yourself or complete yourself.

00:47:45:10 - 00:47:58:14
Brian Young
Right. And I think that's where society's gotten a little wrong when you're young is you just feel like I got to have somebody, you know, you know, you got to have a good dose of FOMO and you got to go find somebody today. It's not necessary.

00:48:00:10 - 00:48:21:03
Matthew Krekeler
Yeah, I agree that, like, we should find our worth not just in our, like, dating relationships or for, as you mentioned, career, other things like, like we need to have our own sense of self, our own like identity that that is stronger than just like finding value from other people.

00:48:21:04 - 00:48:23:09
Brian Young
But yeah.

00:48:23:09 - 00:48:35:23
Matthew Krekeler
But yeah, I appreciate you sharing those views on dating. And I wanted to ask, did you and your wife, did you adhere to that same dating guidelines like when you were in high school or college?

00:48:36:07 - 00:48:53:10
Brian Young
Oh, no. Oh, no, absolutely not. You know, in here here's the deal. You know this as much as anybody listening to this is the fact that, you know, part of your decisions that you make as an adult when you become a parent are trying to do the opposite of what you did as a teen in a 20. Right.

00:48:53:10 - 00:49:12:16
Brian Young
And so, yeah, I had long relationships. I probably like three or four relationships as I was going through, let's say junior high. So ninth grade into 10th and on through senior I 12th grade. And, you know, each one of them ended with a breakup, obviously, because I didn't I didn't marry any any of them. My my wife did the same.

00:49:13:15 - 00:49:34:06
Brian Young
But it's interesting, when we when we met, which I was 23, she was 25, it was like she had some bad dating experiences. Mine were not so bad. It's like the last one I had prior to that was, you know, we're going in a different direction kind of thing. It wasn't really that horrible kind of thing. And so we met.

00:49:34:06 - 00:49:53:08
Brian Young
I mean, we were both a lot more mature in our what we wanted from life and what we wanted from a spouse. And so we were able to say, okay, you know, we're a little more mature adults now. And part of that was, is because of our journey, we met each other. I mean, we were we were married 364 days from our first date.

00:49:54:08 - 00:50:14:17
Brian Young
I mean, it was like, boom, you're it, you're it. Let's get married. So, no, we we absolutely did it the proper way. And here's the deal. Part of that is also I want dads to hear this. There is grace in the process on all of it as a dad. Right. But there's also grace in the process of dating.

00:50:14:17 - 00:50:43:00
Brian Young
Right. And what's interesting from mine and my bride story is our girls ever came to us and said, hey, I want to date somebody. Like I would say the words like guys or dogs avoided at all cost, and they'd see certain situations in life and go, Yeah, they are dogs, dad, I don't want to date one. Right? But what's interesting is when my daughter Maddie married my son in law now Spencer, I mean, she's not really had any danger relationships at all.

00:50:43:00 - 00:51:06:19
Brian Young
And so it was clear to I made it clear to him when we had that conversation, right? Like, hey, you know, this is this is new territory for my daughter kind of thing. And he admired that. He was like, wow, that is wonderful. And that was a little bit of almost all of his story as well. And so it was really neat to see when they met each other and boom, it's time to get married kind of thing.

00:51:07:00 - 00:51:15:01
Brian Young
So yeah, but yeah, I wish I could tell you had the same story as my daughters had. But no, I did not.

00:51:15:01 - 00:51:41:11
Matthew Krekeler
Well, my wife and I are actually high school sweethearts. We met soft nice high school. Yeah. And yeah. Like so we but we had been friends for a little while before that and then actually met through our youth group at church. But we both had like even at that time I was of like very new in my faith and, and things.

00:51:41:11 - 00:52:07:10
Matthew Krekeler
But I had this desire eventually to be married, but it just started just as any relationship, just like a friendship that just slowly builds. Yeah. And then as you're getting ready to go to college, we made intentional decisions to, like, go to separate colleges to pursue what we each wanted to go into for careers, but also making intentional time to keep the relationship.

00:52:07:10 - 00:52:40:07
Matthew Krekeler
So we did the long distance thing for a couple of years in college and and then we got married. I think we were dating at that time. It was like six years since we like first writing that we then got married and now we've been married for over seven years with three kids and stuff. But that's so for us it was just like kind of building that relationship and knowing that like we could end the relationship at any time if it wasn't something where we saw a future.

00:52:40:07 - 00:52:52:04
Matthew Krekeler
But but we just as we got to know each other, like I just fell more in love with her and just wanting to live this life together. And now we're raising daughters together.

00:52:52:04 - 00:52:53:11
Brian Young
It's just natural.

00:52:53:11 - 00:52:53:19
Matthew Krekeler
So.

00:52:54:05 - 00:53:10:23
Brian Young
Yeah, yeah. And I think this where sometimes, you know, young adults or teenagers get it wrong. It's like, man, I mean, you got to find someone that your best friend. And obviously you found someone that became your best friend who then became your girlfriend, who became your wife, who then became the person that's the mother of your children.

00:53:10:23 - 00:53:28:20
Brian Young
I mean, it's it's this natural just progression. And I think what happens sometimes, it's like we got a date. Well, do you really know the person? They have a personality that you enjoy. Do they have the values that you have? Didn't have aspirations that you have? And I think even in the youth ministry I did for so many years is where you see these kids date for a while.

00:53:28:20 - 00:53:48:01
Brian Young
They become a senior like, Oh, we're going to go to the same college. And I'm like, This is kind of this time in your life where you're just a little bit selfish to go, What is God giving you as gifts and your passions go pursue it, and then you go pursue. And if they if you're still meant to be, you're going to it's going to come back and it's going to work out.

00:53:48:01 - 00:54:05:12
Brian Young
Right. But it was like, well, I'm 18 years old and I'm going to make all my life based upon where they want to go to school. Not a real good way to build a foundation for your life. So, yeah, fantastic that you did find, you know, find the young lady in high school and wow, it just continued all the way.

00:54:05:12 - 00:54:12:09
Brian Young
You know, you must be pretty stinking awesome is what I'm thinking. But she's probably much better than you. But that's okay.

00:54:12:22 - 00:54:20:11
Matthew Krekeler
Yeah, yeah. It's just God's grace in that I attribute it all to him like, yeah, I'm not that sort.

00:54:20:17 - 00:54:28:16
Brian Young
That, you know, I'm. I'm a knucklehead and I'm probably you're a little bit of a knucklehead, too, so I completely agree.

00:54:28:16 - 00:54:36:03
Matthew Krekeler
So, yeah, I'll wrap it up just with my final question. It's been great chatting with you. I've learned so much, so happy.

00:54:36:05 - 00:54:36:23
Brian Young
To you as well.

00:54:37:12 - 00:54:59:15
Matthew Krekeler
And I ask all of my guests this at the end of the interview. But think of your daughters directly, and I love that they end each of your chapters talking about their dad. So I want to give you the opportunity to speak directly to each one of them. And yeah, pretend I'm not here and we message you have the floor.

00:54:59:23 - 00:55:02:11
Matthew Krekeler
Anything that you want to share to your daughters.

00:55:03:18 - 00:55:25:02
Brian Young
Yeah, absolutely. You know, it's it's amazing. Girls that at the age that I am and the age that you guys are, it is beautiful to see in the midst of struggles that you might have, that you're still thriving. And I think I'll always remember that life is going to be tough and things are going to get thrown at you.

00:55:26:01 - 00:55:49:23
Brian Young
But your faith being anchor to your faith and to be passionate about the things that you do and serving others, you continue to do the things and grateful that you took my advice and knew. But you also from that made your own life. And you are thriving from New York to down the street to West Texas, married to an incredible man.

00:55:49:23 - 00:56:16:14
Brian Young
Spencer, you've made your own choices, and I'm grateful for those choices. So thank you for give me the gift of the words, the chapters to this book and allow me to be your dad. And it is a blessing and a joy and meant to see you guys thrive is fantastic and always remember Dad loves you Guy.

00:56:16:14 - 00:56:22:15

Dad as a year guy.

00:56:23:23 - 00:56:42:08
Matthew Krekeler
Thank you to Brian for sharing his journey and being part of Girl Dad Nation. Check out the links in the description to learn more about the Thriving Girl Dad book. I loved how Brian talked about making intentional time, even excusing himself from a business dinner to connect with his daughters. In what ways are you and I prioritizing our family?

00:56:42:16 - 00:57:02:01
Matthew Krekeler
How can we model our values to others? That's what I'll be reflecting on. If you've this podcast, please let me know by leaving a review. I've made it even easier. Just go to my new website GirlDadNation.org and click on the reviews tab. I hope to feature some more great reviews like this one. This one comes from Jordan on Twitter.

00:57:02:05 - 00:57:21:14
Matthew Krekeler
He says, Girl Dad Nation has really helped me grasp how to navigate being a girl dad in terms of trying to connect a young female's emotions with the grown males emotions. Without a doubt, the biggest thing I've taken from Matthew and his guess is, at the end of the day, the most important thing that my daughters need to know is that they are noticed, they are valued, and they are loved.

00:57:21:20 - 00:57:44:15
Matthew Krekeler
No strings attached. Thank you, Jordan. I love that. He has been a long time listener of the podcast and I really appreciate it. Girl Dad Nation is on Instagram X formerly known as Twitter and Facebook. You can also email me directly at GirlDadNationPodcast@gmail.com. Thank you for journeying with me. There is no greater joy than being a dad.